I've had the good fortune to be in several relationships that tested what reality really is. To experience mental dysfunction in my primary relationships has been the strongest catalyst to go deep and peel back the layers of my minds need to control and coerce through dysfunctional processes and storytelling.
What I observe, is my mind using a lifetime of techniques, including dynamic storytelling, cunning manipulations of the truth and ultimately atomic alteration of my body chemistry – the manipulation of my fabric to support the aims of my dysfunctional mind.
Heavy stuff, but so liberating once observed.
Clear of the story, the bullshit, and aware of the constantly distracted nature of the mind I also dissolve the ego.
This egoic dam-busting journey started out through separation. The dissolution of marriage and the loss of all the egoic materialistic constructs – gone was the picture perfect postcard life. Having created such a powerful effigy of ones-self and perpetuated it widely into the community, the dissolving process has taken me some time to really get to the heart of the matter.
And there it is, the heart, the centre
The mind is no longer the centre of my being, I do not choose to use it to process my emotions, I do not choose to use it to judge or criticise others. I do not use it to create my reality. I choose to observe THE reality – as it is.
I have been fortunate
The leverage we all have in our relationships is, I believe, to break down the walls of the mind's control of the body function. To live in heart and ultimately to 'know thyself'. I am fortunate to have been in relationships with amazing and dynamic woman that have tested my resolve to reach the depths of what I am. Along the way, at times, it hasn't been pretty, but it has been the reality of mental dysfunction and the matrix of the mind to create compelling stories. Relationships are my greatest teacher, as a student of life they are humbling experiences.
Living in the Here and Now
This is surely the only place to be without mental dysfunction. Living in the here and now is completely heart based and devoid of mind. The 'here and now' concept is plastered on so many people's fridges as a daily reminder, but how do we actually apply this?
A level of measure could be: you can't have any ill-will towards yourself or another being – absolutely NONE!
If we can't get to that point, then we must, by default be 'sometimes here' and 'sometimes in the now', the rest of the time we are in mental dysfunction. That's how endemic our relationship with our mind is.
So what's the cure for Mental Dysfunction?
I believe the cure is a close observation of the subject. Don't let out of your sight the cunning little bugger that runs the cogs of the mind. That bugger has many strings attached to all your limbs and heart and most incredibly has access to your molecular DNA and can alter it at its whim.
I urge you to go deep and observe the space between a thought and the chemical reaction that occurs in the body as the body reacts to the thought. See how often within a minute this process takes place, then times by 60, then by 16 to calculate how many times a day this can be happening in you.
The tool that has helped me most is Vipassana Meditation. I had used Transcendental Meditation sporadically over 20 years before coming through a particularly challenging relationship where the catalyst to see through the matrix was strongest and my contact and use of the Vipassana Meditation technique began.
Over the past 5 years, as I deepen my practice and apply increasing levels of observation and decreasing levels of egoic reactivity, I am much better able to live in the here and now. To see the minds machinations and not run them up the flag pole as 'mine', but to relegate them to mindless chatter. To not worrying or bother with entertaining these thoughts is very liberating. This is, I believe, the ultimate point of 'knowing thyself', to observe yourself as what you truely are – a mind-body phenomenon. It's a choice to engage with mental dysfunction, with patience and love for oneself, we can all work through this challenge.
You may obtain a new view on life that is quite profound.
One without a story.
Being, here, now.
PS. Leave your enlightened responses below. Your contribution to consciousness counts.
Here's a few other meditations of longer duration. The first one a male voice and the last one a female voice. Enjoy and spread the joy.